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@  Thomas Hunna : (07:13 AM)

dead

@  Test : (04:02 AM)

hahahaha fuck, i forgot i changed rhil0 to automatically change to woat member, altright cunt

@  Test : (04:02 AM)

but nice knowing you woat member, altright cunt

@  Test : (04:00 AM)

nothing but love to you, you're clearly very mentally ill

@  Test : (04:00 AM)

says more about you than me my brother, you're the one hiding on a guest account

@  Test : (04:00 AM)

@Guest LMAO, my dude, I'm still alive.

@  Thomas Hunna : (03:45 AM)

And if you’re still holding that much animosity towards someone you met on the Internet, look in the mirror and grow the fuck up

@  Thomas Hunna : (03:44 AM)

We’ve already lost 2 members, we don’t need anything else fucked up like that happening to anyone else

@  Thomas Hunna : (03:44 AM)

That shit ain’t cool to be fucking around about

@  Thomas Hunna : (03:44 AM)

Yo the fuck whoever that is

@  Guest : (01:51 AM)

Fuck you Khaled. I’m glad you’re eradicated :)

@  Guest : (01:48 AM)

He was the definition of a cancer. No use in pretending otherwise

@  Guest : (01:46 AM)

The world is now a better place without such a vile horrible “person”

@  Guest : (01:45 AM)

Nothing of value was lost. Rot in hell you lowlife piece of garbage :)

@  Guest : (01:43 AM)

Easily the worst human ever encountered on the Internet. Was such a garbage toxic cunt to many people here

@  Guest : (01:42 AM)

Heard the news Khaled overdosed :suge:

@  Guest : (06:37 PM)

anybody got download link or know where I can find?

@  Guest : (06:37 PM)

looking for a poshgod/freebase tape2

@  Thomas Hunna : (07:53 AM)

@Swampy shit dude, along time ago

@  Uhhimani : (07:38 PM)

I miss adam

@  Swampy : (07:54 PM)

also when the fuck did we get ice cream

@  Swampy : (07:53 PM)

When the fuck did they even make that

@  Hobo : (10:58 AM)

wtf when did i become member of the month?

@  YungBasedNikey : (02:01 PM)

unfortunately

@  Eatin Apples... : (04:43 PM)

Jeezis this place still exists?!

@  Android XVII : (08:30 AM)

1love

@  Murphy Lee : (04:57 PM)

Ayyy

@  Mr Deerskin... : (03:04 PM)

Yo i can't believe this shit is still around

@  Guest : (09:17 PM)

yo

@  Material : (10:24 PM)

https://discord.gg/rN57wJg

@  Material : (04:06 PM)

join the discord

@  Material : (04:06 PM)

goldy i see you lurkin

@  Swampy : (01:44 AM)

message removed by moderator

@  Beeb : (10:28 PM)

:ronan:

@  Cheddahz : (02:30 AM)

everyone should join the discord

@  Guest : (11:06 AM)

f

@  ASTOREA2K : (04:29 PM)

@Fig join discord

@  Fig : (12:19 AM)

Good to know the forum still exists

@  Android XVII : (04:50 AM)

i feel like adam gone forever he fully a cancer

@  Wyatt : (04:59 PM)

Sup everybody

@  Wyatt : (04:59 PM)

Yo yo

@  Uhhimani : (03:32 PM)

jk ily

@  Uhhimani : (03:32 PM)

bby ass

@  Uhhimani : (03:32 PM)

im p sure he actually a cancer lol

@  Uhhimani : (03:31 PM)

is Adam bck nao

@  BEazy : (07:01 AM)

Imagine using the Shoutbox and not the discord

@  Android XVII : (09:12 PM)

where u work

@  Swampy : (01:31 AM)

Gonna call in sick tomorrow

@  Swampy : (01:30 AM)

I’m smoking big hash but I hate my job

@  Swampy : (01:29 AM)

I moved to Denver Colorado shits dope

@  Android XVII : (12:03 AM)

hiccups lowkey scary

@  Uhhimani : (02:39 AM)

I was drunk idk why my first thot was to come on here and post that..lol

@  Uhhimani : (01:46 PM)

I hv the hiccups rn. its terrible

@  A Fuckin Rad... : (10:55 PM)

First time logging on in over 6 years, just to find out UGK passed... this some 'ol bullshit

@  Android XVII : (10:30 PM)

its all good i forgive u

@  chrisb : (04:02 AM)

oops my bad

@  Android XVII : (08:54 PM)

i kno for a fact u did

@  chrisb : (01:04 AM)

i never had u on snapchat i don't think

@  Android XVII : (12:19 AM)

wtf hell naw u older than me u were always mean to me u blocked me on snapchat

@  chrisb : (04:26 AM)

:dance:

@  chrisb : (04:26 AM)

i'd get ur back android but u were mean to me when i was 16 so

@  chrisb : (04:25 AM)

it was ugk's bday the other day

@  Android XVII : (03:18 AM)

and its no OFT without khaled.... shut the whole website down its no point anymore RIP ugk17

@  Android XVII : (03:17 AM)

i was hating on white woman on twitter and khaled got mad at me and abandoned all of us

@  chrisb : (10:11 PM)

what happen

@  Uhhimani : (08:29 AM)

: /

@  Android XVII : (04:19 PM)

if u follow me on twitter that aint shit compared to other things i said
its cancer season my guy was in his feelings das all it is
wya pooch
im in colton california pull up ill giv u the hands !!!! im fighting in the name of dj khaled and ima win cause americans can't lose to british ass fuckniggas

@  Android XVII : (04:18 PM)

i said its a lot of demonic elf looking white girls and my dude snapped

@  Android XVII : (04:16 PM)

u wasn't even there pooch stfu.... khaled sensitive ass got offended by a tweet how is that my fault

@  Pooch : (02:28 PM)

Hey Android, if I ever see you I will smash you into a pulp you useless cunt, fuck you.

@  tylersgay : (11:18 AM)

you know what im out too

@  tylersgay : (11:18 AM)

fuck MTY

@  tylersgay : (11:17 AM)

damn we lost a brother

@  tylersgay : (11:17 AM)

im the new manager of oft ladies and gents

@  Android XVII : (05:19 AM)

say it to face pussy

@  Android XVII : (05:19 AM)

fight me matty

@  Android XVII : (01:47 AM)

u wasn't even there matty

@  Android XVII : (01:34 AM)

:earl: :earl: :earl: :earl:

@  MTY : (01:08 AM)

bro shut up

@  Android XVII : (12:50 AM)

fucka twitter beef

@  Android XVII : (12:49 AM)

prayers up for my nigga khaled until i die

@  Android XVII : (12:48 AM)

bruh i love khaled im forreals sad i hurt his feelings i aint mean to do all that i jus b wildin on the internet.... i genuinely did not think i could affect somebody else mental state with internet words

@  Android XVII : (12:37 AM)

we witnessing the end of an era

@  Android XVII : (12:35 AM)

i dont kno how i got banned from twitter off such an inoffensive tweet but i believe u

@  Android XVII : (12:34 AM)

<3

@  KHALED : (12:30 AM)

@ Steve Berman : (16 July 2013 - 01:38 PM)chick fil a doesn't hate gays, they serve me all the time

@  KHALED : (12:29 AM)

fuck this, enjoy the site. im changing my password to something i dont know and im not coming back

@  KHALED : (12:28 AM)

and no you dont have to take the job seriously, i dont ban people on here unless its that one weird dude Kendrick or whatever

@  KHALED : (12:27 AM)

oh shut the fuck up, i never got you banned, i never reported your dumb tweets i just blocked you

@  Android XVII : (12:21 AM)

really got me banned from twitter for 12 hours

@  Android XVII : (12:18 AM)

jus because i made fun of white womann on twitter

@  Android XVII : (12:17 AM)

khaled i kno u mad at me but please don't ban me from the shout box

@  tylersgay : (04:40 PM)

or can we fuck around

@  tylersgay : (04:39 PM)

@KHALED do we have to take the role seriously

@  KHALED : (01:43 AM)

to be*

@  KHALED : (01:43 AM)

anyone want to me management? im never coming back to this site

@  KHALED : (11:24 PM)

lil bitch

@  Android XVII : (09:24 PM)

detroit

@  KHALED : (01:09 AM)

im a big sean fanboy

@  KHALED : (01:09 AM)

boii


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Any writers out there?


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32 replies to this topic

#1 Barakon

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:20 AM

I know this forum section is about Literature, but original Literature still counts as Literature, right? So if there's anyone else here that likes to write, feel free to post stories or snippets of some of your work. I'll break the ice with a snippet of something I'm working on.
---

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Johnny boy!” A loud voice called out in English. From around the truck walked the Red Pole of the Osaka area, Toguro. “Wow, I remember you from when we were little kids. You were so scrawny and quiet. Now look at you! The Bullet Samurai, hahaha! Well I got news for ya, fucker! This is my town! I run this city and I’m not about to let you come play Batman with my fucking money!”

Toguro was not a small man. At least 6”5 in height and no less than 240 pounds, he was a hulk of a person. This freight train was now running full speed at me. I raised my gun to shoot, but was greeted by a hollow Click!. Oh, fuck me…I thought, just in time to be rammed by this Yakuza bull. He ran into me shoulder first, slamming me into a dumpster. Before my body could even bounce off the dumpster he went to work with punching me in the midsection. Left, right, left, right, damn this guy punches hard.

With the last of my strength I cocked my arm back and pistol whipped Toguro across the face, aiming for his nose.


“Fuck!” He yelled out, backing away from me for a minute. Blood was gushing out of his surely-broken nose and he grabbed it, twisting with his hand until there was a solid Craaack!. “I’m gonna fuck you up now, Johnny!” He said, squaring up and throwing a wide left.

I prepared myself for his attack and ducked under the first swipe, punching him in the abdomen. It was like punching a wall. He swung a right hook and I grabbed his arm, using his momentum to toss him over my shoulder.
---
Tips would be welcome too. Personally, I have some problems with writer's block and laziness when it comes to consistently writing.
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#2 Thick Thighs

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:26 AM

what the hell did i just read
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#3 Henry Krinkle

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:26 AM

I'm not going to read this, but I do write. In a few hours (after I try and get some sleep) I'm actually picking up my first printed book; which is a collection of my poetry and two short stories. In any case, I dislike most writers I meet as they have a tendency to take themselves way too seriously and feint intellectuality as if they were some kind of reborn Oscar Wilde.
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#4 Barakon

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:42 AM

I'm not going to read this, but I do write. In a few hours (after I try and get some sleep) I'm actually picking up my first printed book; which is a collection of my poetry and two short stories. In any case, I dislike most writers I meet as they have a tendency to take themselves way too seriously and feint intellectuality as if they were some kind of reborn Oscar Wilde.

That's awesome, man. Local print, or will I be able to check it out where I am?

what the hell did i just read


What you just read was a bit of a story I'm devloping about a vigilante/assassin dubbed the Bullet Samurai. That specific part deals with him averting a drug trade in Osaka, when he crosses paths with the Red Pole (Yakuza enforcer) of the city.
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#5 Henry Krinkle

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:44 AM

That's awesome, man. Local print, or will I be able to check it out where I am?


Local print, all on my own pay and all of my own work. I'll be getting a hundred copies so if you really want I suppose I can send you one (free of charge, though a fee for a bottle of vodka would be greatly appreciated as I really do need it). Depending on where you live and how much shipping would cost, I could manage.
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#6 sm123

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:48 AM

I'm definitely an amateur, but i'd be happy to post some of my work in a bit.
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#7 Barakon

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:51 AM

I am too, sm123 :D. I was just taught early on that you can't be afraid of criticism. You just gotta have a balls-out attitude when you showcase your work. S'all a part of getting better.
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#8 Barakon

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:55 AM

Local print, all on my own pay and all of my own work. I'll be getting a hundred copies so if you really want I suppose I can send you one (free of charge, though a fee for a bottle of vodka would be greatly appreciated as I really do need it). Depending on where you live and how much shipping would cost, I could manage.

Very cool. Yeah, I'd definitely be into it. If you've got a paypal, when I get paid, I'd love to check out your work and send you something for your trouble.
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#9 Numbat

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Posted 16 July 2012 - 07:12 PM

Tips would be welcome too. Personally, I have some problems with writer's block and laziness when it comes to consistently writing.


tips:
-Stay away from adverbs as much as you can
-Stay away from passive voice
-Be careful with commas. Sentences with a lot of twists and turns can be hard to follow at times. Try reading what you've written aloud and if you're running out of breath that probably means a sentence is too long/could stand to be cut down to a better size.
-Only use slang in dialog and first person narration.
-Less is more. If there's some big, flashy ten-dollar-word you want to use when you could use some smaller word, the smaller word tends to be the right choice. For instance: use path instead of promenade.
-Be concise. This goes hand and hand with Less Is More.
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#10 Numbat

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Posted 16 July 2012 - 07:50 PM

As for the excerpt of your story.......

The first thing that comes to mind that you might want to keep an eye on is how you use profanity, especially the word fuck.

The excerpt above is only, what....around 230 words? Yet the f-bomb appears five times.

Now, this might just be a high-octane arc in the story, but don't overuse the f-bombs or their effectiveness and jarring connotation will be decreased. A nicely placed f-bomb can be shocking.
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#11 Electrics

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Posted 16 July 2012 - 07:56 PM

I'm not going to read this, but I do write. In a few hours (after I try and get some sleep) I'm actually picking up my first printed book; which is a collection of my poetry and two short stories. In any case, I dislike most writers I meet as they have a tendency to take themselves way too seriously and feint intellectuality as if they were some kind of reborn Oscar Wilde.


This

I spent a portion of my time on the internet on a writing forum, I love to write, I used to do it a lot, now just on rare occasion. It all started with fan fiction, I can't seem to write poems though, they don't feel right. I just write short stories but writer's block is always around too.
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#12 Phobia

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:01 AM

I'm not going to read this, but I do write. In a few hours (after I try and get some sleep) I'm actually picking up my first printed book; which is a collection of my poetry and two short stories. In any case, I dislike most writers I meet as they have a tendency to take themselves way too seriously and feint intellectuality as if they were some kind of reborn Oscar Wilde.


Ditto, except for getting my shit published. How'd you get published?
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#13 Henry Krinkle

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:34 AM

Ditto, except for getting my shit published. How'd you get published?


I met a girl and she brought me in touch with all the right people. It helps that printing is very cheap in Serbia, of course. I don't really know about the cost wherever you're at. Try finding a printing office (or send your stuff to various publishers then they can do it for you) or whatever and look into that.
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#14 Phobia

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:36 AM

I met a girl and she brought me in touch with all the right people. It helps that printing is very cheap in Serbia, of course. I don't really know about the cost wherever you're at. Try finding a printing office (or send your stuff to various publishers then they can do it for you) or whatever and look into that.


I live in Murrica. I feel like it'd be incredibly hard to get shit published and sold here.
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#15 BCH

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:37 AM

I wrote some Glee fanfiction once.

Oh, and I was in a novel contest in school like 5 years ago... I didnt win.
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#16 Lou

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 08:46 AM

When I was in 3rd grade I wrote the greatest story about me playing "Hide n' Seek" with my siblings in the woods next to my house then going too far and finding a monster... It was actually the greatest thing ever.

Pretty much this happened:

Woke up. Eat pancakes. Was asked to play Hide n Seek with my sibs. Hide in the woods. Found cyclops-like monster. Take it back to my house, into my room. Almost get caught multiple times, but don't because of his special powers (invisibility, shape shifting, etc...) that I had no knowledge of him having. Monster becomes hostile. Attacks me. Wake up. It was all a dream. Go downstairs. Eat pancakes. Asked to go play Hide n Seek.

God damn. I lost the story, but I remember how awesome it was.

I also wrote a story in 1st grade about a pirate searching for treasure. Pretty much in that one he is sailing around the world and getting into many different experiences that end up trashing his boat. His boat sinks as soon as he finds the island with the treasure. Gets treasure. Just has enough money to buy a new boat. The end.

Those were great.

EDIT: Most recent story I wrote was in 6th grade. It was about a dragon that stole some princess. Don't remember the specifics though... but I do remember that I got in trouble for using the word "hell" to help describe the dragon's fire... That teacher was a cunt anyway...

Imma start writing some stories. Those were actually fun.
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#17 zexon

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 10:42 AM

what the hell did i just read


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#18 Solid

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 10:44 AM

i write
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#19 Venom

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 10:44 AM

I have good ideas for stories. Can never write them though, idk how to start :/
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#20 Barakon

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 11:19 PM

I have good ideas for stories. Can never write them though, idk how to start :/

Yeah, I have that problem too sometimes. What I do is start writing the part I already have developed and then backtrack.

What you said.


Thanks for the criticism! And yeah, I see what you mean about the cursing. I don't want it to appear too sophmoric but at the same time, I wanted some realism. Like, gangsters don't really say "gosh darn", y'know? Also, I do think I have some problems with commas. Overusing them and whatnot.


Dude, why say "What the hell did I just read?" Okay, the story might not be that good but it's plain fucking English text. If you don't like it then give me some constructive criticism, post something you wrote that's better, or kick fucking e-rocks. Or just tell me it sucks, y'know that's an option.
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#21 Narkwolf

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 11:24 PM

I have written some stuff but only in icelandic :) I'll post it if i feel like translating it.
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#22 Guest_TysonTheH00drat_*

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 11:29 PM

I have written some stuff but only in icelandic :) I'll post it if i feel like translating it.

Post it bruh and I have written articles on some complex mag type Shit
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#23 Narkwolf

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 11:43 PM

Post it bruh and I have written articles on some complex mag type Shit

Yeah atleast i want to have the translations correct :)
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#24 Numbat

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 01:22 AM

Thanks for the criticism! And yeah, I see what you mean about the cursing. I don't want it to appear too sophmoric but at the same time, I wanted some realism. Like, gangsters don't really say "gosh darn", y'know? Also, I do think I have some problems with commas. Overusing them and whatnot.

Who knows. Maybe the gangsters are very polite and proper.

Keep it simple with commas. That's all I can tell you. I prefer using the word "and" instead of splattering the page with a comma.

Good short sentences can be tense and build action. They can be like bullets, but you have to be aware not to get too choppy.

Command of the short sentence and knowing when to throw one in there, especially to break or change the pacing of anything, is important.
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#25 Guest_Hobo_*

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 01:56 AM

Finished my book the other day. 218 pages. Now to do shitload of editting
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#26 Venom

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 05:32 PM

Yeah, I have that problem too sometimes. What I do is start writing the part I already have developed and then backtrack.


Will try that, thanks.
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#27 Barakon

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 09:48 PM

Finished my book the other day. 218 pages. Now to do shitload of editting

That's awesome! What's it about?
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#28 Guest_Hobo_*

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 05:34 AM

That's awesome! What's it about?


Here's a little blurb I just bashed up.

In a world where dreams are drugs, Thom finds himself on the run from the police after killing his girlfriend in a game of William Tell. Thom sets out to seek redemption from a man who no one has seen in years, only to find himself lost in a world of dreams and violence, as a cut-throat Dream Cult known as the Everspiral continues to spread its influence and darkness.
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#29 Numbat

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 01:42 PM

Um, that sounds almost just like Naked Lunch, dude.


edit: talking to hobodog^
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#30 Phobia

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 04:00 PM

Spoiler

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